Saturday, January 3, 2009

29 Resolutions for the Year 2009

At the suggestion of my sister (aka publicist) one of my goals for 2009 is to keep my blog more up to date. In her words, "you're funnier when you IM me than you are in real life." Or maybe she said "more interesting" or something to that effect. But you get the picture. In any case, it got me thinking that a) my sister must not really like talking to me all that much in person and b) I should keep up my blog.

So, in honor of the new year, I've decided to put my New Year's Resolutions on my blog for all to see, and so that if I slip up and stop following through with them, I can be reminded by the tens of people who are avid followers of this blog.

1. I will take more steps toward seeing life as being good and not just wear the apparel that states that fact.

2. I will not play time management games online like Diner Dash, Cake Mania, Coffee Rush or Sally's Salon and pretend that I am actually learning time management skills. I will admit to myself that I am procrastinating and that no matter how many times I help Flo in all of her crazy Dash games, it will not help me make progress on my novel.

3. I will try to stop using the phrase, "In a minute," when talking to my daughter. I realize that she hears this from me all too often and is now displaying symptoms of sibling rivalry with the computer. Also, since she is six, she technically knows how long a minute is, and will end up standing there counting out the seconds anyway, so there really is no point in trying to get any work accomplished during that time. Plus, the money that I make writing will end up being spent years from now on her therapy, so I might as well nip it in the bud now.

4. I will impress upon my husband that just because my birthday falls between Christmas and Valentine's Day, one present for all three occasions does not count.

5. After discussing this with my therapist, I need to set boundaries and time limits and prioritize my life. I need to have personal time, as well as time for working and time for my family. This is the only way that I will be able to accomplish what is important to me. I wonder where blogging should fall on that list?

6. I will treat my job as a writer as a JOB and not work at a desk overflowing with coffee cups, towels, bottles of moisturizers, Webkinz, prescription bottles, takeout menus, makeup and gummy dinosaurs (I'm listing just a few of the things in my line of vision-- I could list more, but that would take all day). In order to get my work done, I need an orderly office, and not a catch-all room for all the overflow in the house. (This may be a separate goal, but I'll put them together as they both fit into the "tidiness" and "workspace" category.)

7. I will not count watching television shows and reading books and magazines and "working" and "letting my ideas percolate" for new projects. I will admit that I'm just procrastinating. (Knitting, making jewelry, surfing the internet and emailing friends also fall into this category.)

8. I will get out of the house and spend time with real live friends and not just count my texts and IMs with people I don't really know on Facebook as having a social life. (My husband is sick of hearing me talk about things going on in my "friends" lives, especially when he knows that they are just Facebook and MySpace friends. Sigh...)

9. I will live by the words of Shaq. I'm following him on Twitter and I've discovered that his pearls of wisdom are words to live by. Honestly, who is happier than Shaq? I watched him do the show where he taught kids to be healthy and he's probably the happiest-go-lucky guy in the world. (Please note: this is in no way me poking fun at Shaquille O'Neal. What 5 foot 2 girl in their right mind would make fun of an incredible athlete who is almost twice her size. I love Shaq! He's like a big teddy bear!)

10. I will meet Johnny Depp. I know that this has been my New Year's resolution since 1985 when I first saw him on 21 Jump Street, and it will continue to stay on my list until it happens.

11. I will let the people in my life know how much I love and care about them. Yes, I know, sappy stuff, but very important.

12. I will not base my happiness on how many people like my books, how many friends I have (on FB), how many people in the publishing industry like, dislike or even know who I am, or how my books are selling. There is more to life than having a successful career. If I can just entertain a few people with my books, then I have done my job as a writer.

13. I will not end my resolutions on an unlucky number.

14. I will not count playing Wii as exercise, and actually get my butt onto a treadmill once in awhile. (Although, I may have to make an exception for Wii Fit, which ROCKS!)

15. I will no longer refer to people that I don't like (or even hate) as resembling small animals or creatures (rat-face, chinchilla head, porcupine lady, Finding Nemo head). I realize that this is unfair to the animals (and sea life) that have no control over how they look and should not be used to describe the people that I detest. I will find some other way to express my dislike for these horribly mean people without insulting the animals.

16. I will always be on time. (Everyone who knows me can stop laughing right now, dammit!)

17. I will not swear as often. (Please ignore the last part of resolution number 16.)

18. I will play with my daughter more often so that she will stop drawing family portraits at school and have me with a computer mouse in one hand and a book in the other.

19. I will sell more books than Stephenie Meyer. Ha ha! Just wanted to see if you were paying attention. No, seriously, I'll stop comparing my book sales to Stephenie Meyer's Twilight books and just accept that she and J.K. Rowling will never allow my books to get onto the Amazon top books lists.

20. I will try to make my daughter understand that although Avril Lavigne is one of my FB and MySpace friends, I can't ACTUALLY introduce them and therefore she can't REALLY perform backup at one of her concerts.

21. I will convince my husband that a six-year-old can go to an Avril Lavigne concert, because she is her ultimate idol.

22. I will not stress. (Despite the fact that my high school yearbook prediction for the year 2010 was that I will be a stress counselor, because I was always stressed out as a teenager. Some things never change.)

23. I will not procrastinate. Again, everyone who knows me...STOP LAUGHING!!

24. I will live in the NOW. (Thank you Eckhart Tolle.)

25. I will try to take extended breaks from the Internet, although at times I wish I were connected to it intravenously.

26. I will stop counting coffee as my daily intake of fluids. I will also stop counting coffee as my breakfast and lunch and a pre-dinner snack.

27. I will be thankful for the special people in my life and let them know that on an on-going basis. This includes family, friends, writing and publishing world friends, and online bloggers who ROCK!

28. I will stop using the word ROCK as often as I do. I will also try to cut out the words awesome, supercool, hardcore, insane, crazy, and neat--(yes, I still use that word when talking to my daughter. Even a six-year-old knows how uncool that is).

29. I will work every day to try to make myself a better person: a better mother, sister, wife, daughter, friend, writer, blogger.

So there you have it, my 29 resolutions for 2009. If I don't stick to any of them, feel free to let me know. (And don't hold back!) And if anyone has a problem with any of my resolutions, it's all my sister/publicist's fault for encouraging me to blog more, so email her at

(Hey, I never made taking responsibility for my actions one of my resolutions. So there!).


Ooooo! You should totally play Fairy Godmother Tycoon! (not that this will help Resolution #2) It's actually fun and the dialogue in it between lands his HILARIOUS! I was obsessed for a week or so until I finished it. SO FUN!

Also, you're hilarious! I really hope you do keep updating your blog more regularly - as long as it doesn't interfere with THE OTHER SISTSER's progress young lady!

What do you mean the Wii isn't exercise? 0_o Do you know how exhausted and sore and sweaty Wii Tennis makes me!

I am totally going to refer to people I don't like as chinchilla head now because that cracked me up!

Happy New Year! Hopefully 2009 will see the release of SISTERS in CANADA for pete's sake! Thanks for being a great new internet friend (hey, there is nothing wrong with internet friends :P)